Participant Stories
Emma’s Story
When Emma 
first came to Emerge! she was very shy and quiet. She stated that all her life she’d had problems with her choice of partners.
Emma’s husband was abusive. She wanted to gain a better understanding of why she chose abusive partners, how she could boost her self-esteem, and gather the confidence she needed to leave her marriage. She talked about the control issues and emotional abuse she lived with.
With the support of Emerge! staff and programs, Emma decided to return to school to complete her GED. As each week passed, she came in looking and feeling happier. She stated “Now I am getting ready for the journey.” Her plan is to leave the marriage, attend college, and regain her independence.
Emma thanks Emerge! for the support she received during her ongoing journey. She continues attending individual and group sessions.
Emma is a wonderful example of a person who has been able to find help before she needed emergency shelter. About half of the women and families Emerge! serves are able to find help through our programs, but never reside in our shelters. We have several community-based sites (walk-in locations where we offer support for those who do not need shelter) available to serve these participants.
Angel’s Story
Angel is a young girl living
in the shelter with her mom. When Angel first arrived she was constantly biting her fingernails; her mother thought it might be a nervous habit. She was also concerned because Angel always looked scared.
Angel began attending the children’s groups. She quickly formed strong connections with the other children attending. Soon after she joined the group, she stopped biting her fingernails.
Recently, Angel asked staff if she could read at story time. Staff encouraged her. She went to her school library and picked out several books she could read to the group. Angel thoroughly enjoys reading the stories and is an excellent reader. For Angel, reading to the other children is amazingly therapeutic for her.
Every day her newfound self esteem and confidence are more evident. She no longer looks scared, and her personality has become outgoing. She loves to laugh and interact with the other children. Today, Angel smiles all the time!
Theresa’s Story 
I never imagined my beautiful, bright daughter would find herself in an abusive relationship. When I realized what was happening, I wanted to protect her. I was, after all, her mother. Still I felt so helpless. My well-intentioned efforts to intervene only drove her away. I couldn’t understand why she would go back to her abuser repeatedly.
My daughter stopped communicating with me because she was embarrassed and humiliated. She became angry when I refused to allow her abuser in my home. Our relationship suffered, only furthering her isolation.
Out of desperation, I reached out to Emerge!. Emerge! helped me understand the power and control issues that exists in domestic abuse. They helped me to learn about what my daughter was going through. I changed my approach with my daughter. What she needed was support, encouragement, and the resources to achieve her goals; not someone telling her what to do.
I’m so grateful she chose to receive help from Emerge!. Our relationship started to improve. I took her to get a haircut for the first time in years. As part of her abuser’s effort to isolate her, he had been cutting her hair. As she got out of the car, I said, “Honey, you are my best friend.” My daughter replied, “Mom, you are my only friend.”
My daughter now attends support groups regularly and has been residing in the transitional housing program since summer 2008. My three grandchildren are blossoming. They used to tell me, “Daddy hurt mommy’s face.” Now they excitedly tell me, “Nana, we are going to group tonight!”
Attending support group has changed all of our lives. The children can better express themselves. My beautiful daughter is going to school, and I’m so proud of her progress.
Elise’s Story
Elise’s husband abused her day after day. She lived in constant fear. One night after her husband had been out drinking, he came home and began to physically assault her. It escalated to the point when it might be too late to leave safely. Elise grabbed her cell phone and ran. She found a safe place and called 9-1-1. The police arrived and her husband was arrested.
Elise stayed at a friend’s house and decided she didn’t need to seek outside services. She was in a safe place and he was in jail. Elise enrolled in school but found she wasn’t able to concentrate. She continued to think about the abuse. Just as she thought maybe she should quit school, she heard about Emerge! She immediately called and scheduled an intake meeting with Emerge!
Since then Elise has had many sessions with Emerge! staff to discuss her struggles. She was able to move forward with a divorce through a referral to Southern Arizona Legal Aid. During this process she realized that not only had she been physically and emotionally abused, but financially as well. She didn’t know her husband owed thousands of dollars in credit card bills. Additionally, the physical abuse she endured landed her in the hospital several times, leaving her with medical bills she was struggling to pay. Through our program Elise applied for and received victim compensation which alleviated her debt. She never expected we could provide services to help someone in her situation with so many obstacles.
Elise has been coming to Emerge! for more than a year. During that time she graduated from school and started a new life. Elise continues to attend sessions here at Emerge! and feels good about her accomplishments. At her last session she shared that after feeling lost, she has now found herself and can’t wait to see what her future holds.
Marie’s Story
She was just trying to keep it together for her son, Eric, and her baby, Anna. Yesterday she was walking home from the store with Eric and he looked so scared; he didn’t want to go home. She didn’t want to go home either. It wasn’t safe, not for any of them. That’s when she decided. As soon as her husband went out she would quickly pack a bag, take Eric and the baby, and go to the shelter. She just had to get through the next few hours.
When they got home her husband was already gone, but Marie wasn’t sure for how long. If he did come home and dinner wasn’t ready there would be trouble. Frozen with indecision, she wasn’t sure if she should make dinner or start packing. She got the kids settled and decided to call the shelter hotline, maybe they couldn’t even take her right away. She fished the hotline number out of a folder she’d previously hidden in the closet under a pile of old clothes.
As the phone rang she pulled out a bag and went into the room Anna and Eric shared. She had just started grabbing clothes and toys when the hotline worker picked up. Marie’s story came flooding out. She talked about the abuse and how she was packing to leave. The person she spoke to on the hotline made all of the arrangements. She was to meet a car in 45 minutes at the corner a few blocks from her house, a route her husband rarely, if ever traveled.
Marie hung up the phone and rushed to get everything ready to go. Thankfully the baby was sleeping and Eric was playing in the living room. She wildly threw things into the bag, constantly listening for the sound of her husband’s car in the driveway. It never came.
Finally, she gathered up the kids and was out the door. They hurried through the neighborhood, Marie constantly looking back over her shoulder, terrified she would be caught. The car from the shelter was waiting there when they arrived. They all piled in and Marie nervously watched to see if anyone was following. She didn’t even want to breathe until they were far enough away.
When they got to the shelter Marie met with a clinician while Eric had dinner and she fed the baby. They talked about the family and the abuse. Marie started to calm down when she knew they’d all be able to stay in the same room together, but panicked again when she realized she’d forgotten Anna’s diapers. Luckily they had a stock in Anna’s size right there.
Once everything was settled, they were shown their room. It had a crib for Anna and beds with new sheets and pillows for Marie and Eric. That night Marie, for the first time in years, slept soundly knowing she was safe. Today they are starting their journey toward a safe, loving home.
Sandra
Sandra didn’t know where to go. It was 2:00 a.m. and her situation was growing more dangerous by the minute. Her husband was on the way home from the bar. Her boys were at their grandmother’s. She was thankful they weren’t home, but apprehensive about it too. It was her husband’s mother who had them and, if she ran, she wasn’t sure she’d ever get them back. Still, it was better than having them see the violence.
Even though she didn’t know where she was running, Sandra knew she had to get out. She went to the closest Tucson Police Department station and asked them what to do. Thankfully, they sent her to the shelter. When she got there they just listened. They helped her understand that it wasn’t her fault, and gave her a safe place to sleep. When she left the next day to get her boys, they told her she could always come back and bring the boys with her if she needed to.
Thankfully Sandra got her boys back and had a friend who was willing to take them in for a few days. They later moved into a room at the hotel where Sandra worked. It was hard, her husband was the main breadwinner, but they survived. Even though her husband had threatened to take the kids away if she ever left him, Sandra got the family home and full custody of her sons in the divorce. Her ex continued to harass her and make threats for a long time, but finally gave up. Today Sandra manages a local hotel and is completing her college degree.
She credits that one night in the shelter with changing her life in a way she never thought possible.
Jacob’s Family
Jacob made perfect grades on his report card…but he didn’t want to go home. He and his brother Adam and older sister Jessica were enrolled in all kinds of after school activities. They played sports, belonged to clubs, anything to keep them away from home. During the summer they were all away at camp as much as possible. They didn’t want to go home, and Candace, their mother didn’t want them there. She didn’t want them seeing the abuse she endured.
They lived in a small community in southern Arizona, where they relocated a few years ago from another part of the country. Candace thought it would be a good move, a fresh start for the family, but it didn’t change anything. In fact, it only increased their isolation from friends and family. Over time the abuse got worse.
Finally, even though the traditions of her culture disapproved of her leaving her abuser, Candace had enough. She packed up her children and made the long drive to Tucson and moved her family into the Emerge! shelter. Her guilt was overwhelming. Jacob, Adam and Jessica were old enough to understand what was going on. They all felt that it was wrong for their mother to leave their father, even though none of them wanted to stay. Candace felt it was wrong too, but she couldn’t take the abuse anymore. It had torn her family apart.
Over time they all came to grips with the choice that Candace made. They learned more about abuse and how dangerous their situation really was. They continued to attend groups at Emerge!’s outreach location after leaving the shelter. Over time the family healed. They now enjoy spending time together. They have a safe, loving home and bright futures.
Jenny
Jenny came to the Emerge! shelter program after enduring a four-year abusive relationship where there was physical, emotional and verbal abuse. Jenny had domestic violence in her family growing up and the cycle continued into her adult relationships. Jenny had been in the Emerge! shelter program before, but had returned to the abuser after promises of change. She reports that when she returned, the only thing that changed was the increase in severity of the abuse.
Jenny began to increase her involvement in the Emerge programs and began to understand the dynamics of domestic abuse and the cycle of violence. She recognized that the abuse was not her fault and began to set goals for herself. By the end of her shelter stay, Jenny had accomplished many of her goals including obtaining full-time employment and securing permanent housing with the help of the Supportive Housing Program.
Jenny continues to work on her goals of education, increasing her physical and mental health, and spending more time with her family. Jenny knows that her journey of healing will be a long one, but takes it one day at a time and lives life to the fullest. Her courage, strength and perseverance is a symbol of hope for all others wanting to create a change in their own lives.
Reuniting a Family
When Lea came to shelter last fall, she needed medical attention and was unable to work. The abuse had left her unable to care for her four children. They were in the custody of Child Protective Services (CPS). Compounding the situation, fleeing her abuser left her homeless. By the time Lea completed her stay at the shelter that winter, custody of her children had been returned to her. She received a medical procedure that she needed and her health improved. She secured a job, and she moved into to her own apartment with her children. With ongoing, caring support from Emerge! Lea and her children are beginning a life free from abuse.
Saving a Young Life
Alexa is an 11-year-old living in the shelter with her mother and two siblings due to domestic violence. Alexa has been exposed to domestic abuse perpetrated by her step-father since she was three years old. When Alexa came to the shelter she was upset with her mother for taking her and her brothers from their home. With help, Alexa was able to see past the change and adapt to shelter life. She agreed to have one-on-one sessions with the child and family case coordinator. Through these sessions Alexa disclosed that, in the past, she had been feeling suicidal. The steps were taken to get her the help she needed. Alexa continues to meet with the child and family case coordinator to have one-on-one sessions and groups while at shelter.
In all stories names, photos and some details have been changed to protect the innocent.